Shame On Me
by Mistress of Azure
Summary: Tomonori thinks about Tsukasa. Tsukasa wonders about Tomonori. Short, shounen-ai.
1. No right

Bwahahahaha...((passes out))

It's 2:00 in the morning and I'm on the crashing end of a raging sugar high. Therefore: Excuse the crappiness of this fic. I LOVE Juvenile Orion. It is sooo awesome.You must go read it. I command you. Really good storyline, gorgeous art, and these two bishies all over each other.

I wish.

http:img. albums/v679/Mizure/manga4. jpg (take out the spaces) There's a pic. The priest is Tomonori-san, and the one that looks like a girl is Tsukasa. Yeah they're both boys. Deal with it.

This will (hopefully) be a three chapter fic, 1st chap is Tomo-san's POV, 2nd is Tsuka, 3rd is like a conclusion. It's gonna be short. Have fun.

Oh, by the way! March 10th was Tsuka's birthday! Yeah...((passes out again))

...Shame on Me: Chap. 1...

You don't understand, do you? Tsukasa. You smile at me, you laugh, grab a quick hug before you run off to your next class. You just don't understand. What you're doing to me…what you're making me _feel_. You'll never know. Not if I have anything to say about it. You…you were so scared before, scared that I would hate you, be disgusted if I knew about your true form. Silly Tsukasa. You should know better. I could never hate you.

And I'm the one who's scared now, but this…is different. You _would_ be disgusted, you'd be so repulsed you wouldn't be able to look at me. Hah. What kind of priest am I, feeling this way about you? Not exactly a good role model, that's for sure.

Listen to me, going on like this. Was I always so weak?

After Master came along, and we all had to fight, I was scared. I feared for you. I know you hate violence, but you still fought to protect Master.

To protect…me.

How strange that was, being protected by the one I had sworn to protect. From the day I found you, that rainy day, I had secretly vowed to keep you safe. How useless I am. I can't even protect you from myself!

I guess I'm just being selfish, not wanting you to know. I don't want you to hate me. I want you to stay with me, to be my family. If I had the courage to accept your hatred, I would tell you.

But for now, forever, this is my little secret.

Tsukasa. My angel.

What gives me the right to love you?


	2. Sweet dreams

Well...here's the thing. That first chapter? I don't remember writing it. Seriously. But, apparently while I was drunk on soda, I promised three chapters. So...here's chapter 2! Tsukasa's POV this time. And it's still short. And a LOT angstier than I meant it to be...oh, well.

P.S. Thank you mentaru for beta-ing this! (huggle!)

...Shame On Me: Chap. 2...

You're a mystery to me, Tomonori-san. I thought I understood you before all this happened, but I guess I was wrong. I thought I could tell what you were thinking, but I can't read you anymore. I thought you would hate me.

Yet, you called me an angel and held me while I cried.

I don't understand. How? How can you still keep me, smile at me, _trust me_, when you know what I'm capable of? How can you look at me with such kind eyes after I...

You were there. You saw me. The others insist that I'm not like that anymore, that I'm their friend and ally now. They say that they forgive me.

But they weren't there. They didn't see me...see what I did to Lafayel. They didn't see how I smirked at his pain, smiled at his suffering...

You did. You, Tomonori-san.

You stood there and watched me kill him. How can you look at me with such care in your eyes after you saw the monster that I really am? I don't understand.

I just don't understand you, Tomonori-san.

How can you be so sure that I won't do it again? How do you know I won't...that I won't kill you, too?

I had a dream that I did. Kill you, I mean. It was awful.

My whole body was burning...I was laughing (it wasn't me),and you lay there, bleeding (oh, God...) and I...I wanted to run to you and hold you and heal you...

I couldn't move...And you looked at me with such pain in your eyes (don't look at me like that)...and then you died...while I laughed. It was such a terrible sound.

I've had that dream a lot. Each time I wake up crying and go to your room and I watch you sleep. I hold my breath and stay silent and I listen to you breathe. Is that silly? It's just a nightmare, after all. But I'm still scared that one time I'll wake up and...and you won't be there. I don't want you to leave me. Please don't leave me.

I don't care if I keep having that dream, as horrible as it is, as long as I keep waking up and you're still here. As long as I wake up, I can watch you dream.

Sweet dreams, Tomonori-san.

...End Chap. 2...

Less romance, more angst. I promise that the next chapter WILL have fluff. It WILL!

...I can't write fluff. (sweatdrop)


End file.
